Long time no talk

Long time no talk, eh...
Well, now I'm having my second exam for this year and after this exam will be my trial for SPM. Kinda nervous though but that doesn't stop me from doing things I like to do. First day of exam is already a havoc because my hand felt like it will crack any soon. Just from doing one paper for BM is like my hand will be a goner soon. Hope my hand will be okay until the end of exam. Even though I'm having my exam, I felt like I'm not having one. Mysterious eh? hahaha I don't think so. Teenagers are like that, can't help it.
And also, because of exam, I got addicted with fan fictions. It happen after I got bored, then started to watch anime even though I promise I won't watch it anymore but I was damn bored. First anime I watched in this year is (in order) Coppelion, Arcana Famiglia and Soredemo Sekai wa Utsukushii. Soredemo Sekai wa Utsukushii still ongoing so I will be continuing to watch more like K. K anime will be the fourth in this year. Because of those animes, I'm more addicted to do fan fictions based on those animes. Fan fictions that I'm working on is Utapri (SyoXOC), Bleach (HitsuKarin), Senjou no Valkyria 3 (FelixXOC), Arcana Famiglia (DebitoXOC) and Final Fantasy Type-0 (AceXDeuce). Utapri's fanfic I had already posted it at fanfiction.net but it's in hiatus state because exams and also I'm not motivated to do it now. So, others still lingers in my mind and I had not yet posted it. I wanted to post them after I finish writing them. I can't wait to finish my exams. After exams, I will have all the time to focus some fan fictions I wanted to let out before it vanish in my head. Well then, that's all I have to say. Just wanted to hang around in my blog and post something to lighten it up a bit.
See ya~!

Sho-kun~ 32nd Birthday~

Otanjoubi Omedettou Sho-kun~

32 huh, still young don't worry.

Don't stop being an Arashi, be cool as always

and what I love about you the most is your laugh, hahahaha (I'm weird, I know.)

We'll pray for your happiness, prosperity and health! ;)

Challenges Only Make You Stronger

This year, I became a form 5 students, 17 years old and that only means I have lots of challenges coming after me in the future.
It happened.
Lots of things happened even though it was just the start of the year. Lots of homework in just only a day. I have to help my parents in their business of selling satay in front of the house. I have problems with Biology and Physics lesson. So much that I'm beginning to lose hope a little. It almost saddened me. I'm beginning to ask myself what I should do?
And also I'm beginning to think about friends. As a JPOP fan, I know I have to take this challenge. Which is I will not have friends at school who have the same interest. People often said that a best friend shared the same interest with you. So in my case, I don't know if I should categorized my close friends as my 'best friend'. And that is why I have to endure myself until I reach the age where I can find my own friend around the world who actually have the same interest as me. There is time where I almost shed tears because of that. And right now, writing this almost made me shed my tears. Not wanting to let my friends know about my sadness, I endured it. I have to. In order to have my ultimate happiness of a friend, I have to endure it.
That is why, Challenges Only Make You Stronger. I want to believe that. Lots of things happened to me lately, with a tons of homework, the Biology and Physics lesson, and also Additional Mathematics lesson. Add Math for short, is becoming tougher each topics. Learning that also makes me lose a little hope in learning and I felt tired learning of it. But then I realized that I have to and this lesson and other lessons hold my destiny and my future.
So I want to tell myself, "Stay strong girl. One day you will have what you want." and hold my favorite quote that is "No one is born a genius. Just keep on doing what you like and that itself is a talent." by Ohno Satoshi.
This tiniest little thing really love to make me cry, huh. I cried a little though, hahaha. I'm so weak at this kind of things. I always have the urged to almost cry at this such little things.
I know. I'm weak. Because I'm the type of person who can easily cry over small things.
I wanna pray to God to help me endure this and grant my wishes of having a true friend.
Amin~

Starting of this year is... Sadness

As what the title is, the starting of this new year is full of sadness.
Firstly, I was so happy that I'm going to be, once again, learning with my former classmates. But everything started after I heard lots of rumors about the reshuffle of my class. My classmates told me that only our class that are going to reshuffle. Hearing that makes me so sad and also mad at the same time. Why? Because my school teachers actually, hiding somewhere in their heart, hated us. While teaching us of course, nothing are shown through their personality but those were lies. I noticed it somehow but I was wondering, weren't they were the same like us when they were young? They should understand. Well I want to understand teenagers when I grow up. Knowing how my generation goes, I want to understand them because you are only young once.
My school's percentage of girls are like 70% while boys are 30%. So it will be really rare to have a class with half boys and the other half girls. In other words, my class consists of 32 students, so half of them are boys and another half are girls. My class is the only class that are called the 'normal' class. My class when I was 12 years old was the exact same because the students are well-balanced with boys and girls. So when I moved to this school, the surrounding changed and at first I felt awkward with it. But somehow I get used to it and when I became form 4 student, 16 years old, the class surrounding changed back to before I came to this school. It will also be awkward because I already adapted with few boys but somehow I missed the old one. Since I'm the anti-social type and also afraid to start a conversation with boys, I never talked to one of them, only a few which I came to be comfortable with. Just as when I wanted to be friend with them this year because our friendship somehow close after all of the things we done like class party and such, this things happened. the sudden reshuffling our class.
You could just tell us that you hated us. I don't mind. This sudden things made us more sadder than ever. Some of us cried, the boys almost cried, the class representative apologized. Isn't this tells that our friendship became closer after spending one year together? It will be even more closer if we spent another more. It saddens me even more to see them boys cried. Knowing that they like being with us makes me happy but seeing them go while almost crying is just too sad.
But what can we do. They hated us. After the reshuffling, when some teachers asked where are the former boys of this class, in a disappointed voice, we said they moved to the other class. Wanna know what they said? "It's a relief to know that I'm not teaching them." Listening to those words means a lot, right. And of course, what I know from those words is that they hated us and doesn't want to teach us.
This is actually what I feel and I wanted to share to whoever reading this. I know that this is a bit too much if you're going to complaint but I can't help it. The sadness is overload and this is my blog. I can write whatever I want. No one can judge me.

A Happy New Year~

Akemashite Omedettou~
Happy New Year~
Let's close 2013's book and open 2014's book
Lots of memories this year and also I had made lots of new friends and fans. Even though only through FB, but I'm glad.
I'm really happy meeting you guys because you guys always made me chou happy. hahaha
Let's have fun again next year, ne~
minna~ arigatou ne

Picture Source: tumblr

Credit to the owner~

Aiba Masaki's 31st birthday!

Otanjoubi Omedettou Aiba Masaki!!!!
You're turning 31! Be grateful that you're still young, hahaha...
I'm so glad and happy for you ^_^
Thank you for being one of Arashi. Because of you Arashi is complete. Without you, I won't be laughing when watching Arashi. And also, you always smiles and that smile made me smile too.
Please don't stop smiling, don't stop being an Arashi, don't stop singing, don't stop dancing and please keeps us smiling all the time. Because you are Aiba Masaki. No one can replace you.
I will support you no matter what. Not because you are an Arashi but as your own self.
Thank you for making us happy and smiling all the time.
Sincerely, Farahin Farzana ^_^

Dear friend

This is an essay I wrote in my English exam. Well I got 44/50. Isn't that great? Good thing I'm at least good at this. Let me share it with you guys.

When I heard the news, I was terribly shocked. The news was about one of my best friend and also one of my classmates who committed suicide. The reporter in the news told us that she seemed to commit suicide by jumping off from the roof. They found her body with blood flowing all over the roads. It was a horror and tragic sight to see so they hid the photos from watchers. When I heard this, my body went numb and my eyes were widened. To think that someone you knew had committed suicide is rare and unusual. This had never happened to me before. She was one of my best friend that are really nice to me.

The next day, I came to school with feelings of regret. I figured that she must have problems and if not why would she do this? I felt like I am not suited to be her friends. A true friend helped each other. She always helped me whenever I had family problems but I never had once asked about her problems. When I stepped into the classroom, everyone was busy talking about her. They told me that she had family problem but it seemed that her problem were too difficult. Her parents had already divorced and she was left alone in the house. Then, the guys interrupted us by telling it had also had to do with her boyfriend.

She had been in love with her boyfriend for almost five years. It was a mutual love and she really liked him for god-knows-how-long. But now I did not know that she had broke up with him because of her mistake. All this time, she always talked to me about her happy times with him. They told me that someone from another school tried to break them up. It was a woman who is obsessed of him. What she did to her was a cruel thing. She made someone, a Casanova to attempt on raping her. And so the woman took photos of her with that Casanova and sent it to her boyfriend as a slander. Eventually after that, they argued at each other and finally her boyfriend left her and decided to end their relationship once and for all.

They told me that her heart was terribly broken. It felt like a sharp knife had stabbed her. My tears began to flowed down through my cheek hearing this. While crying, I told them that she had never told me anything before, problems about her family even her boyfriend. They were sad about this and tried to comfort me down. But then my homeroom teacher had to tell me something about her despite seeing me so hurt. She told me that after her death, her parents decided to live together again and they were so regret about this. I just nodded. She and the entire classmates also advice me to meet her parents to know more about this matter in hand. And thus, I decided to meet them on school weekends.

They day to meet her parents had finally come. My heart was beating fast and I was nervous. I took a deep breath and knocked the door to her house. Luckily, I had her address from my mother. The door slowly opened and there revealed a woman. I told her that I was one of her daughter's best friend. She was surprised and glad to see me and invited me to come in. Her mother seemed very nice and all of my nervousness had vanished just like that. She let me sit in the guest room and then served me tea. I sat there quietly, unsure of what to say. But she is the one who broke the silence and started the conversation.

"My daughter always talked about you. I was really glad that she had such a nice friend." She told me. I was such a nice friend? I looked down in regret and disappointment. "Why? I had never once helped her with her problems before." I said. But she just smiled and then slowly shook her head. "No. You always helped her. She always told me about it. Even if it is not about her problems. But seeing you happy and smiling because of her made her day complete." She explained. My eyes started to water but I tried to held back. Then, she remembered something. "I think there's a letter on her desk. It's written there that it's for you." She smiled at me.

'Dear friend. I am really grateful to have such a friend like you. I had once told mom that you had made my day lively and complete. You always smiled at me and laughed together with me even in crucial times. And you also had helped me with my problems. But this time my problems is too big for you to help me and I decided to kept it a secret from you. I'm really sorry. I must had made you feel regretful, am I right? But please don't feel regret of yourself because of me. It was my decision to this after all. Again I am very sorry that I had ended my life like this. But I want you to know that you are very special to me and I thanked god for giving me such a good friend. I guess this is a farewell. For now. I promise you, we will meet each other again if god willing to. And when that time comes, please tell me everything about my life with. Your one and only best friend, Scarlet.'

I slowly sat on the floor while holding the letter. I can't hold back my tears anymore. I broke into tears thinking it was all my fault. But I tried to think positive. I also promised her and myself, if I meet her again, I will surely tell her about all the adventures that we had shared together. At the same time, I prayed to god. "Please make this wish of mine come true."

Well of course I had also corrected them and surely the mark won't be the same. Hahahaha.. This is originally idea from me and I hope you guys like them. Please don't forget to leave a comment or two.
Well then, buh-bye.. ^_^